As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I’ve begun to frequently experience anxiety. It seems that for most people this begins at a young age, but as far as I can remember, this isn’t something I dealt with when I was a teenager or younger. I was much more stoic and unaffected by things back then. But now it’s something I experience regularly. For me, it is usually manageable, and takes the form of an excessive amount of unpleasant feelings about anticipated events, whether or not those events are remotely likely to occur. Sometimes I get this feeling of uneasiness and dread even when I do not know what I am anxious about. And other times, the anxiety boils over into a full on panic attack.
I’ve listened to a lot of stories about anxiety, and it seems to me that a lot of people have it way worse than I do. I hesitated to make this video because I did not want to belittle other experiences by comparing it to my own which is mostly manageable for me, and is not accompanied by other forms of mental illness (such as depression or eating disorders), as it is commonly. I do not mention this in the video, but I think it’s possible that my anxiety may have been onset by years of over-consumption of alcohol (which itself could be a symptom of some other issue), which could explain why it appeared after becoming an adult.
I’m not an expert on this at all (another reason why I was hesitant to make this), but I assume that every person’s experience with anxiety and other mental states is different and so it’s probably a positive thing to share stories from all across the spectrum. I don’t think most people who talk about what they’re dealing with are looking for pity, but the fact that this is a subject that isn’t really discussed much in the open kind of encourages people to talk about it.