I think a lot of articles and videos on the internet that discuss ideas like consent and sexual assault are often very condescending and unhelpful to most people. They seem to be targeted at actual rapists, and are basically the equivalent of a flustered exclamation “Stop harassing and assaulting people!” The problem with this is, first of all, if your target audience is someone who is already an unabashed sexual predator, it’s unlikely that writing a stern article will sway them. But more importantly, your target audience shouldn’t be actual rapists because the vast majority of people are not actual rapists. But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing for them to learn.
In my videos about predatory behavior and sexual assault, I try to respect the fact that most people agree that rape and assault are terrible, but I think a lot of us have skewed ideas about what constitutes assault and harassment. Some guys think cat-calling is perfectly innocuous for example. Others think of sex as a kind of currency, a payment for debts incurred. These are troublesome ideas, so my strategy is to try to explain why they are troublesome from a guy’s point of view.
I’m a guy who understands sexual impulse, and who understands the urge to do creepy awkward shit. But one thing I’ve never quite understood is the phenomenon of sending unsolicited dick pics to girls. Perhaps this is because I’m a little bit older and I grew up before this was even reasonably possible. It’s not THAT unlike a lot of the other creepy shit guys do. When I was younger, you’d hear new stories about creepy old guys flashing women and girls in public, but we just assumed that these were just sickos–anomalies. But the practice of sending dick pics seems to be a widespread activity. It’s hard to imagine that it’s a “normal” thing for guys to do, but it seems to happen too frequently for it to be an anomaly.
So for this video, I decided to inform myself and look into the reasons why guys might do this. Because I really didn’t understand before.